GWI Club

Are you a member of the GWI Club yet? To join, you just have to “get with it”. Only the morally elite and culturally relevant are good enough to get with it. Such elitism and relevance is to be established by the witness of two or three endangered species, demonstrated by their affectionate face licking. All members must be against poisoning bunnies with arsenic, lighting puppies on fire, and grilling kittens. Furthermore, all members must be willing to annually publicize such opposition, thereby signaling their vast virtue, by regularly taking time away from their families to vote against the vile things to which they are opposed (see Resolution 92-B3, Against Owl Eye-Gouging, and Resolution 13-Z9, Against The Drowning of Children As a Means of Stealing Candy).

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